Is your child ready?
Your child may be ready to start trying to use the toilet if he:
- Stays dry for a couple of hours each day
- Takes an interest when you, your partner or older siblings go to the toilet
- Has bowel movements at regular times of the day, say, after breakfast
- Can demonstrate when a bowel movement is taking place, by squatting or making a grunting sound for example
- Lets you know he wants to be changed when his nappy is soiled
It's usually best not to start toilet training your child during times of stress, such as:
- The arrival of a new baby in the family
- Starting a new childcare arrangement
- Moving from a cot to a bed
- Moving house
- Family relationship problems
- When a family member is ill
- Be positive and upbeat - present the change from nappies as something exciting.
- Give lots of praise whenever your child manages to do a poo on the potty - stress how grown up and clever it is.
- Don't rush things - sometimes if you start teaching later it takes less time, and older children can skip the potty stage and move straight to using the loo, which makes life easier.
- Expect setbacks - learning to use the toilet is just like other skills your toddler learns and you didn't expect him to learn to walk without a lot of falls.
- Give your toddler clothes that can be pulled down or up easily - you may also want him to wear training pants at first, to cope with those inevitable accidents.
- Never force your child to sit on the potty, this will only upset him and won't make the process any faster.
- Some toddlers enjoy picking out their own potty and toilet seat.
- Many toddlers are afraid of the sound of the toilet flushing or don't like to see the poo being flushed away - just wait until he has run off to play and then flush.
- It always takes longer for a child to learn to stay dry at night - when he starts having the occasional dry nappy in the morning, it's a good sign the time is right to try going without a nappy.
- Do your best not to be angry with your child if he has an accident - just say, cheerfully, "never mind, you'll get there next time, let's get you some dry pants".
- Remember to get your toddler to wash their hands afterwards, so that using the potty or toilet is associated with hand washing from the word go.
In our experience, it is always best to wait until your child is ready, rather than trying to 'train' a child when you think you should. When they are ready, the process usually only takes a few days to 2 weeks at the most.
The two parents and children who have recently gone through the process started on the Friday and continued over the weekend. The children, even over these few days, had only had a minimal number of 'accidents' and we were able to continue with what had worked well at home. Neither families had used pull-ups, and we didn't use them when our children were learning to use the toilet. We find that the children just think of them as a nappy and forget what they are supposed to be doing! Pull-ups are great for when children have mastered the process, but you're going to be out for a long time, risking a potential 'accident'. When a child is wearing pants and they have an 'accident' they are aware of it, will get used to the feeling and be able to tell you. Pull-ups soak up the wet and children are often unaware what has happened and don't have any need to let you know, making the process take much longer.
If your child, after a few days, still isn't happy about using the potty/toilet and is still having a lot of 'accidents' then it is probably best to wait a while before trying again.
Star charts have also proved popular and helpful when 'potty training' as all children respond extremely well to rewards!
The most important things to remember are that all children are unique and special, and not to worry if they aren't ready by a certain age. They will all be ready in their own time and when they are, the whole process should be exciting for them and not at all stressful for you. Don't feel under pressure from anyone else as you know your own child better than anyone. :-)
Here is a list of items for you to send with your child when the time comes:
- 3 or 4 spare pairs of pants
- 3 or 4 pairs of trousers or tights
- One or two spare skirts (if applicable!)
- 3 or 4 pairs of socks - they do get wet sometimes if a child has an 'accident'
- Wipes (important for wiping legs and hands if necessary)
- Nappies for nap time
